Home Sweet Home

utter and absolute chaos.

our kitchen...
...perfect for mac&cheese, chai, ramen noodles,
and all those other college must-eats.

before...

TADA...all better.

honest mom, i did do some laundry.
see? it's even nicely folded.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words...and i have many

are we there yet? hmmm...looks a lot like pennsylvania.

just for kicks.

Gorgeous-ity.

Destination Cedarville.

The Words Escapeth Me

someday when i have time, i will post some pictures again...i have taken several. but hope to take more some evening when all the campus lights are on.

homework has been tiresome, which causes me to look longingly at my dearest, most comfortable bed.

seeing as i need to go, i will. bye.

Inspiration

Inspiration. Memories. Relaxation.

Listen here.

Incredible

Chapel. It must be some of the best hours of my life...moving worship and challenging encouragement, humor and love.


And to hear the incredible news of the Spirit's moving among those most dear to our family.


I feel so blessed.

Tuckered Out

life. it has been so busy, so relentless throughout the last 48 hours. i am so ready to crash (not burn, just crash for the night). there are simply too many things to get done this weekend, so many details to keep on top of...and i have a feeling this is only the beginning, especially since classes didn't start yet. oh daily planner, wonderful art thou, my life saver. : )

i miss my PAers, but have met some really neat kiddos out here. although the challenges aren't over (goodness, i haven't even started chemistry or speech yet--EEK!) things are getting a bit easier day by day...each day it becomes my home even more...and i am learning to trust God for the little things, for strength for each day and relying on him for an organized brain that remembers all the necessary details.

my schedule got changed once again, so mondays are even busier, but tuesdays i have chemistry 8-9 and chapel 10-11. then i'm finished. WOW. thursdays are similar, except for a nursing class from 2-3 or 3-4 or something (note to self: i need to check on that...)

i have thought of several people who would love it here...i wish they could experience the worship, it's incredible. of course, i would welcome their company, but i just think that they would be blessed big by it!

Goodbye

Today I say goodbye to everything that I have called home for my entire life...I start anew in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces and an unknown future. I begin to make my "home away from home"...

...It's crazy, exciting and scary all together.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

God,
Give me strength for the journey, grace for each moment and love for all those I meet.

Resting In the Midst Of A Whirlwind

so many questions and wonders, yet so much excitement and anticipation. as i leave this place that i have called home for my entire life I look forward to finding myself, discovering who i am apart from all that i know, all that i have been nurtured by thus far...

...and yet, i look back and wonder if i have done all that i could. have i been the shining light on a hill for Christ to my coworkers who desperately need the hope of the cross? have i made a difference, have i planted a seed in their hearts, a seed that can be nurtured and cultivated by the Holy Spirit? i am fully human, and struggle to glorify God throughout the whole day, every day...but have i been faithful to the call, have i shown those in need that there is another way, a better way.

Sometimes only the honest words of a simple, piano-driven song can describe the jumbled mess of thoughts my mind tries to process...

But You see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me, completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my fraility
'Cause You see the real me

this path has truly brought me to a place of resting in His arms of strength, trusting in His grace as i depart into the unknown.

Creeping Yet Closer

As the date of my departure from here creeps even closer, I am reminded of and thankful for several things...

• Tonight's fun-ness--- delicious food, warm hospitality, lighthearted giggles...just all-around, wonderful fellowship.

• A beautiful reminder of SMC, God's love and light, and a challenge to reflect that light...and the reminder of Pakistan-related memories that came along with.

• The love and hospitality of my own little world...and the encouragement and support they offer in a time of change and challenge.

• Those people who seem to "have it all" and yet sometimes must deal with too much that comes with that "stuff," making you grateful for what God has given you.
  

Waiting Ever So Impatiently

Recently, I have been questioning part of the hand i have been dealt in life.

Although part of me wants to trust the Creator for what is unknown to me, the other, larger part looks through any thin thread of hope to the doubts, the fears. This week J. M. Farro wrote, "Believing Prayer" which followed the devotional "Delay Does Not Necessarily Mean Denial." Both have found a permanent home in my new mail box, because they refresh and encourage even the most tired of hearts, the lonliest of hearts.

But, I still wonder, why?

Yes, who? is a large part of my question, but i have come to a place of trusting in that area. More than who, i question when. and if i am in a right frame of mind now, why not confirmation of some kind.

Impatience. Is it simply that impatient human desire to control that is overtaking my usually willing and patient spirit? Am I wrong to desire some sort of leading from God, something that will tell me that, yes I am following His will. Or, that I will hear a firm no. Is desiring confirmation in this area a wrong this to request from the One who watches over It All.

Those around me seem so happy in that place of blessing, of peace. Sometimes it seems that I am the only one questioning God on this issue. It's not that I don't want to trust Him. I do want to, and I want to wholeheartedly.

But, it seems that just as my story begins to change, as soon as I see a spark of confirmation, suddenly everything disappears and all is silent including the One I am trying to trust, leaving me more confused than before.

-Just some thoughts from my ever-speeding mind and heart on the topic of love, true love. Forgive me for rambling-ness resulting in confusion, or just confusion because of my questions.

Would You Go With Me

Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire
Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher
If we roll from town to town and never shut it down

Would you go with me if we were lost in fields of clover
Would we walk even closer until the trip was over
And would it be okay if I didn't know the way


If I gave you my hand would you take it
And make me the happiest man in the world
If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, girl
Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea
Let me know if you're really a dream
I love you so, so would you go with me


Would you go with me if we rode the clouds together
Could you not look down forever
If you were lighter than a feather
Oh, and if I set you free, would you go with me


If I gave you my hand would you take it
And make me the happiest man in the world
If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, girl
Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea
Help me tie up the ends of a dream
I gotta know, would you go with me
I love you so, so would you go with me