Home Sweet Home

utter and absolute chaos.

our kitchen...
...perfect for mac&cheese, chai, ramen noodles,
and all those other college must-eats.

before...

TADA...all better.

honest mom, i did do some laundry.
see? it's even nicely folded.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words...and i have many

are we there yet? hmmm...looks a lot like pennsylvania.

just for kicks.

Gorgeous-ity.

Destination Cedarville.

The Words Escapeth Me

someday when i have time, i will post some pictures again...i have taken several. but hope to take more some evening when all the campus lights are on.

homework has been tiresome, which causes me to look longingly at my dearest, most comfortable bed.

seeing as i need to go, i will. bye.

Inspiration

Inspiration. Memories. Relaxation.

Listen here.

Incredible

Chapel. It must be some of the best hours of my life...moving worship and challenging encouragement, humor and love.


And to hear the incredible news of the Spirit's moving among those most dear to our family.


I feel so blessed.

Tuckered Out

life. it has been so busy, so relentless throughout the last 48 hours. i am so ready to crash (not burn, just crash for the night). there are simply too many things to get done this weekend, so many details to keep on top of...and i have a feeling this is only the beginning, especially since classes didn't start yet. oh daily planner, wonderful art thou, my life saver. : )

i miss my PAers, but have met some really neat kiddos out here. although the challenges aren't over (goodness, i haven't even started chemistry or speech yet--EEK!) things are getting a bit easier day by day...each day it becomes my home even more...and i am learning to trust God for the little things, for strength for each day and relying on him for an organized brain that remembers all the necessary details.

my schedule got changed once again, so mondays are even busier, but tuesdays i have chemistry 8-9 and chapel 10-11. then i'm finished. WOW. thursdays are similar, except for a nursing class from 2-3 or 3-4 or something (note to self: i need to check on that...)

i have thought of several people who would love it here...i wish they could experience the worship, it's incredible. of course, i would welcome their company, but i just think that they would be blessed big by it!

Goodbye

Today I say goodbye to everything that I have called home for my entire life...I start anew in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces and an unknown future. I begin to make my "home away from home"...

...It's crazy, exciting and scary all together.

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God,
Give me strength for the journey, grace for each moment and love for all those I meet.

Resting In the Midst Of A Whirlwind

so many questions and wonders, yet so much excitement and anticipation. as i leave this place that i have called home for my entire life I look forward to finding myself, discovering who i am apart from all that i know, all that i have been nurtured by thus far...

...and yet, i look back and wonder if i have done all that i could. have i been the shining light on a hill for Christ to my coworkers who desperately need the hope of the cross? have i made a difference, have i planted a seed in their hearts, a seed that can be nurtured and cultivated by the Holy Spirit? i am fully human, and struggle to glorify God throughout the whole day, every day...but have i been faithful to the call, have i shown those in need that there is another way, a better way.

Sometimes only the honest words of a simple, piano-driven song can describe the jumbled mess of thoughts my mind tries to process...

But You see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me, completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my fraility
'Cause You see the real me

this path has truly brought me to a place of resting in His arms of strength, trusting in His grace as i depart into the unknown.

Creeping Yet Closer

As the date of my departure from here creeps even closer, I am reminded of and thankful for several things...

• Tonight's fun-ness--- delicious food, warm hospitality, lighthearted giggles...just all-around, wonderful fellowship.

• A beautiful reminder of SMC, God's love and light, and a challenge to reflect that light...and the reminder of Pakistan-related memories that came along with.

• The love and hospitality of my own little world...and the encouragement and support they offer in a time of change and challenge.

• Those people who seem to "have it all" and yet sometimes must deal with too much that comes with that "stuff," making you grateful for what God has given you.
  

Waiting Ever So Impatiently

Recently, I have been questioning part of the hand i have been dealt in life.

Although part of me wants to trust the Creator for what is unknown to me, the other, larger part looks through any thin thread of hope to the doubts, the fears. This week J. M. Farro wrote, "Believing Prayer" which followed the devotional "Delay Does Not Necessarily Mean Denial." Both have found a permanent home in my new mail box, because they refresh and encourage even the most tired of hearts, the lonliest of hearts.

But, I still wonder, why?

Yes, who? is a large part of my question, but i have come to a place of trusting in that area. More than who, i question when. and if i am in a right frame of mind now, why not confirmation of some kind.

Impatience. Is it simply that impatient human desire to control that is overtaking my usually willing and patient spirit? Am I wrong to desire some sort of leading from God, something that will tell me that, yes I am following His will. Or, that I will hear a firm no. Is desiring confirmation in this area a wrong this to request from the One who watches over It All.

Those around me seem so happy in that place of blessing, of peace. Sometimes it seems that I am the only one questioning God on this issue. It's not that I don't want to trust Him. I do want to, and I want to wholeheartedly.

But, it seems that just as my story begins to change, as soon as I see a spark of confirmation, suddenly everything disappears and all is silent including the One I am trying to trust, leaving me more confused than before.

-Just some thoughts from my ever-speeding mind and heart on the topic of love, true love. Forgive me for rambling-ness resulting in confusion, or just confusion because of my questions.

Would You Go With Me

Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire
Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher
If we roll from town to town and never shut it down

Would you go with me if we were lost in fields of clover
Would we walk even closer until the trip was over
And would it be okay if I didn't know the way


If I gave you my hand would you take it
And make me the happiest man in the world
If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, girl
Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea
Let me know if you're really a dream
I love you so, so would you go with me


Would you go with me if we rode the clouds together
Could you not look down forever
If you were lighter than a feather
Oh, and if I set you free, would you go with me


If I gave you my hand would you take it
And make me the happiest man in the world
If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, girl
Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea
Help me tie up the ends of a dream
I gotta know, would you go with me
I love you so, so would you go with me

Dear Friend...

Dear Friend,

Check out this link.


http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001303.cfm



* Amen! My thoughts exactly.

Thankfulness

Often the trials of life bring us to a place of thankfulness, even for things we may deem unimportant. But trials also make us grateful for those things, those people God has blessed us with; that which is abundantly more than we ever asked for.

For me, work often means trying to ignore crude jokes, insulting names, and disgusting conversations. Even though I don't consider myself naive, I often find myself listening with stunned shock to the conversations between coworkers, wondering how someone can live with their mind constantly "in the gutter." The jokes that degrade women and leave them with no sense of self worth continue to show the incredible lack of respect that dominates society.

Although I survive work each day, I often leave with feelings of frustration, amazement, and, yes, even a grateful heart. Sometimes I question why I am thankful for those people who are perverted and crude; however, as soon as I get a glimpse of my life outside of work I quickly realize the tremendous blessings of God.

I reread my journal--the personal collection of my thoughts, fears and questions--to find that simply one year ago I was begging God for just one guy to become a close friend, one that would share his perspective on life issues. Someone who I could talk to as I would one of the girls, but for a guy's perspective. As I continued to question God's ability to grant this one request, little did I know that he was molding a friendship that would not only grow, but also lead to another great friendship.

Today as I look back, I realize the faithfulness of God when I see the two amazing guy friends that I have who are not afraid to share heartfelt perspectives on many of life's issues. I have seen the blessings of respect, integrity and honesty these guys have shown. Sure, they aren't perfect; they're still learning and growing in the Lord. But, along with other friends and family, they have shown me the unmistakable difference when a mindset is rooted in God.

So, to the men in my life who have been an awesome example of respect, honor and compassion, may you find the strength that is needed daily to keep up such an example in this fallen world. Thank you.

And to those who inspire me to thank these wonderful men in my life, to those who provide the stark, sometimes disheartening contrast, I pray that you would turn to the One who can meet your needs and quench your thirst for satisfaction.

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P.S. Although I'm not sure that I made my point exactly as I wished, I hope these words of thankfulness with spur you on to shine like stars in a warped and crooked generation. (Philippians 2:14, 15)

When I Said I Do

Clint Black and Lisa Hartman Black

These times are troubled and these times are good
And they're always gonna be, they rise and they fall
We take 'em all the way that we should
Together you and me forsaking them all
Deep in the night and by the light of day
It always looks the same, true love always does
And here by your side, or a million miles away
Nothin's ever gonna change the way that I feel,
The way it is, is the way that it was

When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do

Well this old world keeps changin', and the world stays the same
For all who came before, and it goes hand and hand
Only you and I can undo all that we became
That makes us so much more, than a woman and a man
And after everything that comes and goes around
Has only passed us by, here alone in our dreams
I know there's a lonely heart in every lost and found
But forever you and I will be the ones
Who found out what forever means

When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do

Truer than true, you know that I'll always be there for you
That's what I had in mind, that's what I had in mind,
When I said I do

Blessings

oh, to discover a major blessing in my soon to be roomate. YAY!

* * * * * * * * * *

I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


ok...breathe.

It's Becoming Reality

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Classes at 8, 9, 10, 11, and 3-5 on mondays. finished by 12:30 on tuesdays. and so on and so forth.



hmmm. sounds like college : / (that's an inbetween smiley/frowny face, just to let you know)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

thanks to jess and brandon for rescuing my sanity today. no thanks for taking a full half hour for break, though.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

to the boys out west, hope all is going well and that you are managing to stay cool in some way. it's unimaginable in here.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I Hope You Dance

LeeAnn Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

That's What I Love About Sundays

I love the absolute relaxation of a Sunday. the joy of worship in the morning, followed by a yummy lunch with the family. then, an afternoon filled with anything you would find relaxing: a refreshing nap, a book, an entertaining movie, an enjoyable walk, a game, a challenging puzzle. all this relaxation followed by perhaps a "get together" in the evening, an email check, a favorite tv show, a movie, a book, or an early bedtime.

or perhaps just sitting and pondering anything that comes to mind.


...that's what I love about Sundays.




p.s. the times listed for these posts is really off...i'm not sure what's up. but it's like 3 o' clock right now even though it would appear as 11 in the morning, just for your interest. : )

I Got a Feelin'

Billy Currington

I don't wanna rush this thing
I don't wanna jump the gun
I really wanna say those three little words
But I'm gonna bite my tongue

Yeah, I'm just gonna lay on back
Leave it on cruise control
I'm gonna hold it all inside
Till the right time comes down the road


I got a feelin'
My head's a reelin'
My heart is screamin'
I'm about to bust loose
Bottled up emotion
It's more than a notion
It starts with an "I"
And ends with a "U"
I got a feelin'
Are you feelin' it too

The World

Brad Paisley

To the teller down at the bank
You're just another checking account
To the plumber that came today
You're just another house
At the airport ticket counter
You're just another fare
At the beauty shop at the mall
Well you're just another head of hair
Well that's alright, that's ok
If you don't feel important, honey
All I've got to say is

To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world

To the waiter at the restaurant
You're just another tip
To the guy at the ice cream shop
You're just another dip
When you can't get reservations
'Cause you don't have the clout
Or you didn't get an invitation
'Cause somebody left you out
That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've got to say is

(Chorus)

You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me
When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes
And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me

That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've gotta say is

(Chorus)